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Two hours later, Nick and Tom pulled up to Anne’s home to find Kate and Sheera asleep on the porch in the mid-afternoon sun like a couple of cats. For Nick this was an all too familiar moment, the moment that divided before and after, the moment when lives were interrupted by official police business. The two men remained seated, studying the quiet scene, before nodding to one another and climbing out of the truck.
Kate’s eyes opened to the double thunk of the pickup’s doors and watched as Nick and Tom approached the porch with quiet gravity. Kate glanced at Sheera, as small, slight and fragile as a bird, asleep on a nest of blankets at her feet, then rose and retrieved her crutches. Without a word Nick and Tom flanked her as she descended the porch steps and the three proceeded across the lawn to where they could be seen but not easily overheard. The three stood in a triangle and, after some back and forth, Kate’s eyes settled on Nick.
“Kate. We’ve had news from the mainland,” said Nick quietly. “We’ve identified Sheila. Sheila Green. The child’s mother. There’s no way to soften this news. Sheila Green died in her home of a drug overdose approximately 48 hours ago.”
Sheera, motherless. Kate felt pressed to the earth under this new weight. She removed her crutches, started to sit, but changed her mind; Nick, he wouldn’t so easily fold and unfold. Instead she remained standing, wobbly, her crutches propped to the side like a staff. Both men reached out to keep her steady, Nick holding the crutches firmly in place and Tom, to the other side, holding her hand and elbow.
“Her father?” asked Kate. “Where is he? Does he know? Can he help?”
Nick responded, “There isn’t one as far as we know. No father was named on the birth certificate. Madeline, that’s her real name, and her mother appear to have lived alone.”
“Madeline,” repeated Kate, testing the sound of it. “Madeline Green.”
“Goes by Maddy,” filled in Tom.
Kate turned to him. It was the first word he’d spoken.
Tom continued, “Rockland PD identified Sheila the old-fashioned way, going door to door to businesses in town with Sheera’s, in mean Maddy’s, picture. She was recognized by a beautician.”
“Painted fingernails,” said Kate. With a quick smile she shrugged her arm from Tom and put her crutches back in place. Nick shifted a step back and Tom turned to face her directly.
“That’s right,” said Tom, the excitement in his voice unmistakable. “Maddy’s mom was a beautician too. Off and on, she had a habit of disappearing. It had been weeks since she’d last shown up for work, but nobody thought much of it. The thing is, when Sheila did show up, Sheera, Maddy, tagged along. Customers loved her. A real chatterbox if you can believe it.”
Kate’s eyes flashed then went glassy. Tom, his own words catching up to him, looked to the ground grimacing. They hadn’t met that girl. Maddy. Maddy Green.
Nick saw the jolt of reality on Tom’s face, recognized it from his own experience, and had seen it on just about every detective who’d worked a major crime, at least the good ones. The thrill of the hunt brought up short by the pall of tragedy. They figured out who the child was and how her absence could go unreported. What that left them with was a chatterbox, now motherless and mute. Dwell there and it would drop you to your knees.
Nick could see in the way Tom stood, gathering himself, that his training was reasserting itself, giving him the necessary distance. With a system in place and a process to execute, professionals could focus on next steps to bridge the chasm of grief gaping wide and deep at their toes. Kate wasn’t trained and, from what Nick had seen, distancing wouldn’t come easily. That fact, her emotional bond to the girl, had been essential to their quick progress. It also made her a victim, collateral damage from the crime against the child and the investigation into it. As he saw it, Kate too needed to submit to the process and be led across the bridge.
“So,” said Nick, drawing Kate’s attention back to him. “As I was saying, mother and child lived alone. The property was deeded to her a few years back by an aunt and uncle. Until they or other relatives can be located…”
“Alone,” interrupted Kate. “You said alone. But she wasn’t alone. Somebody kidnapped Sheera and brought her here. What about the whistler? Have you found him?”
“No,” said Nick. He left it at that. For what came next, they needed her to disengage.
Kate slumped. Of course they hadn’t. Her actions had delayed the hunt. Because of her they may never find him, the man.
“Well, not yet,” said Tom.
Nick shot him a look, surprised, but Tom had eyes on Kate and didn’t see.
Tom continued. “Marine patrol picked up a strong lead. There’s a man who temps as a lobster boat stern-man who goes by the name ‘Whistling Dick’.”
Nick grunted pointedly. Tom was leading her further into the investigation, not away. He knew Tom was trying to comfort Kate, but investigations careened like roller coasters, twisting and turning through empty theory and spurious leads. It was too soon to say more.
“Whistling Dick,” repeated Kate.
“Whistling Dick,” confirmed Tom. “Because he whistles and he’s a real dick. That’s according to the captain who’d hired him earlier in the season. He refused to hire him again after he showed up to work high. But there’s plenty of work to be had while the fishing is good. They’re working on tracking him down now.”
Tom was smiling away, focused on Kate, oblivious. Christ, thought Nick, derailed by cute and spunky. Not exactly unusual, closer to universal, especially if an officer was compassionate by nature like Tom. And inexperienced. And unattached. Christ. Nick drummed his fingers on his leg. As much as he wanted to, he would not directly intervene. Some lessons were best taught by consequence.
“So, he’s the one who…” Kate faltered. Child taken. Mother dead. What was the connection? How many crimes fell at his feet? “Who what?”
“We don’t know,” said Nick. “So far it’s just an avenue of inquiry.” He’d meant it as a reminder to Tom, to get back on track, and a caution to Kate, to moderate her expectations.
“The working theory is that he was Sheila’s dealer. Or boyfriend. Probably both.”
Nick pursed his lips, shuffled his feet.
“It fits what we know so far,” said Tom.
Nick exhaled loudly. Tom looked at him blankly.
“Which is what?” asked Kate, glancing between Nick and Tom. “What do we know so far?”
When Tom failed to answer, Kate directed her question to Nick.
“You have to tell me. How else can I help?”
Nick saw Tom’s eyes squint and his jaw clench. Finally, he was paying attention. She wasn’t supposed to help. She was supposed to stand back and let child protective services take over. It would be hard for her, contrary to her instincts. Updating her on the investigation, keeping her engaged, undermined what she had to do. Tom stayed silent and Nick knew, lesson learned. About time.
With a hint of exasperation Nick took over the conversation. Tom had told her enough of the investigation that there was no point in hiding the rest. The best he could do was present the face of authority to coerce her compliance. “The evidence is clear. Sheila was a regular user, a heroin addict. We don’t know yet the circumstance of her death – accidental overdose, suicide, or homicide – but regardless she had to have had a dealer. The child fears a whistling lobsterman. It’s not a stretch to think he was Mom’s dealer.”
“And her boyfriend?” asked Kate.
“Boyfriend was the wrong word. Think about it. Mom was a drug addict with a child to care for. We haven’t found any social services involvement, friends, relatives – no support system. There aren’t a lot of options for a woman in that situation; most end up on the street trading sex for drugs, food, whatever they need. Sheila wasn’t on the street but without money it ends up the same. Worse because she was both vulnerable and isolated. Had she been homeless, the child would have probably come to the attention of child protective services before now.”
“Before now?”
“Kate,” said Nick. “We haven’t been able to identify any relatives. Without a guardian the child becomes a ward of the state. Child protective services are coming to pick her up, they should be here in less than an hour.”
“Wait. What?” said Kate, her knuckles white as she gripped her crutches.
“Child protective services are on their way to take over. It’s standard procedure.”
“No. Wait,” yelled Kate, although she hadn’t meant to. She sounded shrill, even to herself, and tried to lower the pitch. “You said something about an aunt.”
“Yes. An aunt to Sheila. Great aunt to Madeline. They may have passed, the property signed over in a will. We’re still looking into it, trying to find them, or grandparents, anyone who…”
“Old people! Sheera’s comfortable around old people. Like you and Jeff. Sorry. But maybe that’s why. She has old people who can take care of her. You’ll find them. We can wait.”
“Kate. If Madeline had people, relatives, who could help, don’t you think they would have already? The process is clear, CPS will……”
“They can’t just come and take her. She doesn’t know them. She’ll be terrified. It’s barbaric!”
Kate was yelling again. Anne and Evelyn came out onto the porch. Maddy stirred.
“Kate,” said Nick, his voice low and stern, without compromise. “You did what you needed to do – you brought Madeline to safety. Helped us identify her. Now it’s our turn. There’s nothing more you can do for her. You need to step aside.”
Tom watched Nick’s delivery. It was textbook; simple language, a concrete plan, no room for debate. Most people in Kate’s position would comply, be relieved even to turn over the mantle of responsibility to such obvious authority. But this was Kate. Everything she’d done so far, from the attack on Matt to stealing Anne’s car, proved she was determined to save the child, to personally save her, whether she was equipped to do so or not.
Maddy was up, jumping down the steps. Anne and Evelyn followed her across the lawn.
Tom knew the system would win. The state had a responsibility and Kate had no standing. But played by the book, it wouldn’t go well. Her jaw was set in defiance. Tom could practically hear her say, ‘over my dead body’. It may not be by the book but in Tom’s estimation, Kate needed to be reasoned with.
Maddy sidled up to Kate, pressing in close to stand between Kate and her crutch. Despite the jostling Kate held Nick’s gaze. Anne and Evelyn stood silently a few feet behind her, like sentinels at a standoff.
Tom squared his shoulders. “Kate, you have more questions. We’ll go down by the water. Anne and Evelyn can stay here.” He said this with more authority than he felt, unwilling to let her refuse.
After a long moment, Kate broke eye contact with Nick. She glanced toward the house, just then noticing Anne and Evelyn standing nearby, then lowered herself to the ground to be eye level with Sheera. Maddy, Kate reminded herself. Maddy Green. She wanted to call her by her real name, tell her how much she liked the sound of it. But she’d have to explain how she knew. That they’d found her mother. That her mother was dead. She already knew that, thought Kate. Surely, she already knew. Or, she didn’t and she’d have to tell her. Either way, naming the girl named the tragedy that befell her. She promised herself, as soon as she’d dealt with Tom, she’d break the news to Maddy. It was only right, and it had to be her.
Kate gave Maddy a tight squeeze, tucked her hair behind her ear.
“Sheera,” said Kate and winced. “I need to talk to Nick and Tom for a bit. I won’t leave. I promise. Have a snack, something to drink. I’ll join you in a minute.”
“Come on, sweetie,” said Anne. “I could use your help. We’ll make a tray, set it up on the porch. By then they’ll be done and can join us.”
Kate gave her another squeeze, tweaked her chin and smiled. Maddy raised her fist for the Princess of Power fist bump. That completed, she shot a stern look up at Nick and Tom, who both dropped their eyes to the ground, then accompanied the two women back to the house. Left behind, Tom, Nick and Kate watched silently until the trio disappeared indoors. Kate’s smile faded with a pang of guilt. Maddy Green was braver than them all. Kate steeled herself for battle.
“Tom,” said Nick. “I just as soon walk on home to give Matt the news.”
Kate, still on the ground, looked up in surprise. The two men faced one another in silent communication. Was this some sort of good-cop bad-cop ploy, wondered Kate. Whatever the reason, it suited her. She’d have a better chance swaying young, green-eyed Tom without his mentor around.
Tom was just as surprised. A punishment for the mess he’d made? A vote of confidence? A long, pensive look from Nick followed by a slight shrug told Tom it was a little of both; Nick was willing to let Tom find his own way. The two men nodded at each other and Nick walked down the drive toward home.
Tom turned to Kate and reached with both arms to scoop her up from the ground much as he had reached for Maddy to lift her from the boat. The memory of Maddy skipping out of reach and Evelyn’s admonishment about manhandling made the same gesture with Kate feel suddenly intimate. He quickly reached instead for her crutches lying next to her. Straightening, he presented them with a slight flush and stiff-armed formality.
“You’ll want these.”
Kate looked him in the eyes, briefly, and smothered her smile. She reached for the crutches with one hand, his with the other and pulled herself up. Tom turned to lead the way, then abruptly changed his mind and gestured for her to go first. Kate’s lips twitched again. Without a word and without looking back, she headed for the path to the water.
Tom grimaced, shook his head, then quick stepped to fall in behind her.
Kate settled herself on a rock and faced the channel separating Isle au Haut and Burnt Island. The wind, although not strong, blew against the current kicking up small white caps that showed the strength of the tidal pull. Tom chose his own granite perch, wide and flat a few paces away, and likewise kept his eyes on the water and the opposite shore.
“I’ll go with her,” said Kate without preamble. “I have to. She needs me.”
“It would only make it more difficult for her. I doubt they’d even allow it.”
“They’d just rip her away from me? Kidnapped, all over again? Are they going to drug her, too? Tie her up in duct tape?”
“Kate.”
“You know this is wrong. How could you not? She knows me. She trusts me. I can help. I have to.”
“She’s known you for one day. One day, Kate. Until a few minutes ago, you didn’t even know her name.”
“She trusts me.”
“She trusts you because she’s five, and there was no-one else, and…”
Before Tom could finish his sentence, Kate recoiled as if slapped. She didn’t look at him as tears spilled down her cheeks, but her jaw remained set. “Fuck you, Tom.”
“You didn’t let me finish.”
“Fuck you, for saying it out loud. As if I don’t already know exactly how shitty it is that I’m the one she got. She deserved better. But deserve it or not, I’m the one she got. She trusts me. I can’t… I won’t fail her trust.”
“Kate! You didn’t let me finish. She trusts you because you saved her. You’ve already saved her. When it mattered most, when there was no-one else, you saved her. But you’re not the only one she has. Not anymore. There are people who know what to do, who have the resources and expertise. They’ll get her the help she needs. Counselling, a stable home, a loving family.”
Tom heard himself pleading, pleading for Kate to believe him and pleading for his words to be true, that CPS could and would come to the rescue.
“And if you’re wrong?” demanded Kate.
“Kate, I’m a National Park Ranger. I’m never wrong.”
The joke derailed her momentum. Kate exhaled loudly and shook her head. Looking across the water she gathered her thoughts.
“What if I haven’t saved her? What if she’s taken away and put into a situation just as bad, worse? You hear about it, in the news, kids in the system, falling through the cracks, ending up in abusive homes. She still needs me. I could take her on, give her a home, a future.”
Tom didn’t respond right away. He understood Kate’s perspective; that nothing was too much to give when someone, a child, was in such great need. But she was rushing headlong without thinking it through. Could she parent Maddy? Maybe. It would depend on circumstance and take months to resolve. Should she? A different question entirely.
Kate took his silence the wrong way. “You don’t think I can, do you?
“Kate. Stop. Stop putting words in my mouth.”
“Just say it, Ranger. It’s your duty, right? That’s why you’re here. To tell me I’m not up to it?”
“God, Kate, would you shut up,” said Tom, exasperated. “Just. Be quiet. For a minute.”
Kate’s mouth clammed shut. She was seething, as much at him as herself, knowing she wasn’t up to raising a child, believing she had to do it anyway.
Tom took a deep breath and waited for her to do the same. “Kate, I think you’d agree, you can’t undo her past. Everything that happened to her before you came along, that whole world of hurt, you can’t undo. It’s her story. An awful one, one that should never have been told. But it’s her story. Right? You with me so far?”
“I’m not trying to change her past. It’s her future I’m worried about.”
“Right, so bear with me. Yesterday you entered her story, a new character. The heroine.”
Kate snorted.
“No-one knew she was missing. She could have died. You found her, fought for her, and kept her safe. You entered her story as the heroine.”
“I’m pretty sure that Matt, for one, would disagree that there was anything heroic about what I did.”
“I’m pretty sure that you, Kate, are the one that disagrees the most. Everyone else sees what you did for that little girl. Are still doing. Everyone sees the courage and perseverance. Not to mention hogtying Matt, everyone’s pretty impressed with that. Me included.”
“I did not hogtie Matt!”
“Deny all you want – it’s way too good a story not to believe. As an investigating officer, I, of course, can neither deny nor confirm the rumor.”
Kate gaped at Tom. “Careful, Ranger. If I can hogtie Matt, imagine what I could do to you.” Kate realized too late the unintended innuendo. Determined to ignore it, she scanned him head to toe with as much disdain as she could muster.
Tom chuckled deeply, his smile crinkling the corners of his eyes. Such lovely green eyes.
“I should chuck you out to sea.” Kate took up a small flat rock and skipped it into the water by way of demonstration. It hopped once.
Skipping rocks. That was something Tom was good at. The first one skipped four times before dropping below the surface. The second skipped too many times to count.
Kate was determined to ignore that too. Silence fell between them.
“I’m in her story now, Tom. You said so yourself.”
“Kate, consider this. Maybe your part in her story is done. The rescue, that’s it, that’s all she wrote. You did what needed to be done so that her story could continue. That good deed doesn’t necessarily mean you stay in her story forever.”
“Why not, Tom? Why doesn’t it mean exactly that? The heroine can’t just walk away.”
“Because you have your own story. Think of all the things that have happened to you up until now, all the people who have come in and out of your life. It’s the same for Maddy. There are plenty of other people, good people, that will come into her life. Several of them are coming right now.”
“You make it sound like I’m being arrogant. Like I think I’m the only one that can help.”
“Well, not exactly. More like an outsized opinion of your role stemming from a strict moral code and pathologic sense of responsibility.”
Kate stared at him blankly. Tom chuckled. There he goes again with the eyes, thought Kate.
“Takes one to know one. That line came right out of my psychological profile. Personally, I prefer ‘big-hearted’ to arrogant. But the point stands, you have your own life, Kate.”
Her own life. God, what day was it – she started work Wednesday. Kate rubbed her face. Her new job. She’d interviewed on a lark. If she hadn’t gotten the call, she’d still be in graduate school. “Events, chance meetings, they change the course of our lives, our stories, all the time. It’s what got me here. Finding Maddy’s no different.”
“Sure. Meeting you has changed the course of Maddy’s life. She’s getting another chance. So ask yourself, how will it change yours? You’re in public health, right? Maybe you’ll focus your work on the opioid crisis. Or go get training in wilderness search and rescue. Or volunteer as a mentor for children experiencing loss. Those are all positive and reasonable ways this experience can alter your life. But what you’re talking about is stepping out of your life entirely and stepping into hers. Maddy’s life, her story? It’s not on you, Kate.”
“You think Maddy will be better off without me,” challenged Kate again.
“No, that’s not right. I just don’t think it’s only about her.”
“She’s so vulnerable. Shouldn’t it be all about her?”
“For Child Protective Services, that’s exactly what it is. To them it’s all about her and they know what to do.”
“Tom. I hear what you’re saying. But how can I? How can I abandon her?”
“Kaaate,” called Maddy from the porch.
Kate’s head whipped around. “Coming. I’ll be right there.”
“It’s not abandonment, Kate. You’re helping her start the next chapter of her story.”
Kate scooched down her rock, forgetting her crutches now out of reach. While she struggled to her feet, Tom hopped down and retrieved her crutches. He offered them to her, and she took them, but he didn’t let go. He waited.
“Nick already said it, time for me to step aside.” A fresh wave of tears spilled down her cheeks and her nose ran.
“Kaaate,” called Maddy again.
God, I’m a fucking mess, thought Kate. She wiped at the snot with the back of her hand which she rubbed dry on the seat of her pants. She tried again to take the crutches.
“CPS,” said Tom. “They’ll be here soon. I can explain it to her if…”
“No.” Kate shuddered and took a deep breath. She dried her cheeks on her shoulders. “No.”
“I’ll stay with you then, help explain.”
“No.”
“Kate.”
“No, Tom. If you’re here, it would be like I chose you over her. You should go.”
Dismissed. Again. “Kate, I’m not sure…”
“I am. She needs me. I have to do this.”
Tom considered her words: ‘needs me’, ‘have to’, and felt uneasy. Isn’t that where they’d started. What exactly did she have to do? A moment ago, he thought he knew; she would help them transition Maddy to CPS. Under the circumstances it was the only rational choice. But this was Kate. She could be irrational. She’d proven unpredictable. Maybe this time, unpredictably rational? He could only hope.
Maddy called for Kate again, this time closer. She was coming to them, already half way across the lawn.
Tom had to decide. He dropped his hands from the crutches. This was Kate. In his gut, he trusted her.
“You should go, Tom. Now. We’ll, um, meet you at the town landing.”
The landing? Tom raised his eyebrows and looked at her askance. He could wait nearby. He’d not considered leaving Anne’s altogether. What was she planning?
“Anne or Evelyn can help.”
Christ, thought Tom. He could imagine the three of them holed up with Maddy inside the house. He’d have to explain to Nick and everybody else how he’d let the situation escalate out of control.
“Kate, Mad…” started Tom, but she cut him off. Maddy stood where the path met the rocky beach.
“Hey you. Come on over. Tom was just leaving.” Abruptly, Kate let her crutches drop to the side and pulled Tom into a rough hug.
It was so unexpected it knocked him off balance. He didn’t so much reciprocate the hug as grasp onto her to keep them both from falling over on the uneven stones. By the time he’d steadied them both she was already pushing away.
Tom stood opposite her, grinning, searching her face. She’d hugged him. She’d whispered something. Now she was waiting. “No name.” Kate had whispered, “no name”. Tom dropped his hands to his hips and looked to the ground. Okay, not a hug. He’d get over that. What did she mean, though? Maddy, of course. They knew her name, so why not say it? And then all at once he understood. This wasn’t only about CPS and what came next. It was about Maddy, who she was and what had already happened to her. That’s what Kate felt she had to do; talk to Maddy about her mother.
Tom looked up and nodded.
Kate’s face softened with relief. “Bye Tom.” She turned immediately to Maddy and motioned for her to climb up onto the rock.
“I’ll wait at the landing as long as I can,” said Tom. He hoped she understood what he meant; that he’d hold CPS at bay for as long as he could to give them time to talk. He wanted to say more, acknowledge how difficult this would be and commend her courage. He wanted to convince her how lucky Maddy was that Kate had been the one to find her. Mostly he wanted to hug her for real. Kate and Maddy were so focused on each other, he wondered if either of them even noticed when he walked away.